I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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