You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
