butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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