Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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