Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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