hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
