i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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