You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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