Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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