i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
