Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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