I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
