We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
