i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
