flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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