I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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