I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
