we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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