it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
