i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
