Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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