Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
