I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just cropdusted the office
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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