That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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