he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
