week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
