And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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