I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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