oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
