Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
