If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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