i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
