My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
