So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
