I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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