Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
