I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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