That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
