allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
