these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
