You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
