walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
