who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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