Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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