I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
