I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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