they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
