Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
