i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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