just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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