Where is the hickey?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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