Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
