found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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