we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
