Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
