Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
