So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
NoShamevember. You game?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
