and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
