I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
