After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
