Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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